The Tea Paradox

There are two types of tea. Fine Tea and Emergency Tea. They are both equal in merit, but very different in quality and execution. They are both, I think, of vital importance to this country and its ongoing quest to rule the universe or something from out here in the North Sea. They are both very important to the Jabberwocky, but we have to make a choice one way or the other. Except we can sort of have it both ways.

Fundamentally it is important to grasp, should you come from a non-tea-drinking-country, that tea is important.

Once upon a time we were knocking up a brew, way back at Alcester Food Festival, and were asked if we had tea. It’s not on the menu, but we had been caught red-handed, so conceded that we did have tea and served them two cups at 50p each. We then promptly served another two to the folks directly behind them, and then another half dozen during the rest of the day.

The problem was that we were serving tea in the only cups we have, the dratted syrofoam ones, and were having to do all the teabag removing and milk adding for the customer. It was also just a cheap box of tea that we had flung in the van for ourselves, rather than anything fancy. I was mildly embarrassed to charge these people at all, but they all seemed to think it was a cracking deal.

We have since occasionally had tea on the menu, and not really enjoyed the process at all. It means pulling things in and out of the fridge, faffing about with sugar and, most rubbishly of all, not getting it right. Let’s be honest, you may say you take tea “as it comes”, but when you make it for yourself it is EXACTLY how you like it. It’s like putting milk in cereal, you just can’t trust someone else with that kind of responsibility.

The paradox then: Fine Tea, like a fragrant Ceylon, served in bone china from a warmed teapot amongst friends on a summer’s afternoon with scones and jam. Emergency Tea, served during a 3 hour wait in a queue at Heathrow, or right after getting caught in what must have been a hurricane, or in the midst of a family crisis. It doesn’t matter what it’s served in, or whether it’s milk out of those horrible little pots. It can even be PG Tips if it has to be. It just ticks the box marked tea.

It has taken a while to make a choice and pick a point on the Fine to Emergency Spectrum, but we have decided to opt for Just Tea. A good bag, served in a paper cup, with DIY milk and sugar on the side. We don’t want to compete with the people who are serving hot beverages for a living, and will continue to happily send everyone who would like a good cup of tea or the Other Hot Drink over to nearby stalls of our acquaintance. Hopefully that will set up the folks who just need a cuppa whilst not trying to be too fancy. We pay our respects to fine tea elsewhere, by offering Afternoon Tea, where the humble brew is rightly revered as our national hero.

We do coffee too. Might as well.