Applications of Van to a Locale in your Vicinity (Topical Use Only)

The beast has had a fairly easy ride so far. He has slept on our driveway and been fed diesel, taken for regular romps in the country side, and has only once been asked to earn his keep. I think up until this point he has been more like a really expensive, lovable mascot, providing an idea to rally around, and remind us of an existing financial investment, rather than actually doing what we bought him for.

All things considered, and when reviewing that which was set in stone from those heady days when the beast was less old than he is now, I’m not entirely sure we knew what we were buying him for. Initially there were plans to get a restaurant, and out of the blue the Beast careers onto the driveway, grinds to a complete halt and doesn’t start for several weeks. It wasn’t quite an impulse buy, because that same day we bought Steevo the Stilo, so perhaps it was just sticking to a theme.

Stevo has earned his keep, jump-starting Barny’s car, ferrying people around and only breaking down in the most hilarious situations (twice), and Sainsbury’s car park (twice). The Beast will need to do some catching up this year. To that end the last few days have been spent rooting around in the darker nether-reaches of the internet, hunting for events that the Beast can attend.

Mostly the process is an application form, printed from the internet and posted off, followed by either the stony silence of rejection or the need for money. You can then counter this with haggling, which leads to either a stony silence or another request for money. Overall the process is fairly civilised, and so far most people seem largely smitten with the Beast. I only hope we can keep this up, then summer will be wonderfully busy.

What I most enjoy about these applications is the strangeness of it all. Firstly, we have the fact that these different festivals have thoroughly different budgets, ranging from huge financial backing to a couple of guys at the weekend. Some, when faced with the size of the Beast, will have never been faced with a van that large and need to speak to Rich, the guy who did it last year. Others will smirk and tell us about the 50footer that will house most of a large London restaurant. Secondly there is the organisation of said festival, which ranges from booked fully for the next three years to taking applications only once Sue has come back from maternity leave three weeks before the date in question.

It’s a long-winded process, because unless you are Jamie Oliver the festivals won’t come begging at your door, but so far it has been mainly positive and although we cannot announce a full summer yet, I think the Midlands will be seeing a fair bit of the Beast this year.