The Dos and Don'ts | The Jabberwocky Soliloquy

I’m currently working on a page about starting a street food business, with useful advice on the 10 dos and 143 don’ts of taking up the tongs and trying to make a living out of other people’s change. This last week has been all about the van, and about the sad demise of Gogo – Barny’s beloved Toyota MR2 – who, through no fault of her own, got a hole in the radiator.
Do: Combine car shopping with Jabberwocky errands – It’s like a whole world of miniature adventures.
Don’t: Suggest Ford Kas. I can’t quite work out why, but every time I found a nice-looking one Barny got this twitch.

So we embarked on a jumbled shopping trip over the weekend to find a new floor for the Jabberwocky, as the lino is getting a little tatty, and a new car for Barny. The lino is part of our great annual van scrubbing, where the off season gives us a chance to fix the slightly dangly gas door, get a newer, bigger fridge and put in a lovely big hob on which to toast. The car is so that Barny can still get to the day job.
Do: Make sure that you have agreed on at least roughly what type of vehicle you want, otherwise Barny will fall for the first tiny sports car he sees.
Don’t: Get seduced by the car dealer’s dog and want to take that home instead.

Midway through the car hunt we rocked up at our independent carpet retailer, along with most of the rest of town, all of whom had apparently decided to buy local that weekend. We grabbed ourselves 8 square meters of lino and threw it onto the Stilo, then brought it back to Wocky HQ, stopped for tea, fixed the gas door (wood filler) and crashed on the sofa to hunt for more cars.
Do: Tea.
Don’t: Not Tea.

In the end he settled for that most middle-aged of cars, a Rover 45. Sensible fossil of a dying breed of cars, it will now get to face the challenges of being a Jabberwocky support vehicle. Mostly that involves having a robust battery so that we can jump the Beast off it in cold weather. Plus occasional greenhouse transportation, although technically that one was for us.
Do: Remember that you can, of course, fit an entire greenhouse inside a Fiat Stilo.
Don’t: Buy a car that has a rubbish battery, or a battery decorated with stupid plastic covers.

I hope that was helpful. Barny and his new car are not here at the moment, but if you do need to urgently see a picture tweet him @jabberwockyfood. He’s like the proud parent of a newborn, if the newborn was accidentally a monkfish.